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Said The Rat

by Carl Philip Louis

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1.
I Still Wish You All The Best 02:09
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Quietly still breathing Though I'm not sure I'm not floating through the air It's all pretend anyway Not known to listen not known to care But I don't want these voices in my head Not one to worry or sacrifice But I'll do anything for that smile so bright I can't pretend i'm waiting of you That I don't remember what we went Though I still say I never cared I still wish you all the best I hide my feelings until I sleep Though in this moment there's no relief I Still see you in my dreams And I still wish you all the best
2.
Pseudo-Drones 02:07
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Don't matter to me, it meant nothing Oh I know you can see that I'm bluffing But fuck it, respect the maniac Got a forthright opinion, don't listen I can see your minds eye isn't blinking It's blurred and fuzzed by girls and drugs Oh I see these blank faces of pseudo-drones Should I walk among them or should I walk alone It's not a question of answer but a question of doing Just another stay or leave decision And I don't know the answer
3.
Long Lost Love 00:39
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We chase that spark like a long lost must Don't need a difference between love or lust We catch their eyes and we must pretend That we never want this to end Becoming for never a moment Make them feel they were chosen Sense it merge with touching skin Sink into each other it will all soon be over Because truth in feeling means nothing
4.
Ping.There.Gone 02:24
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Ping. There. Gone. Not long Too short Not enough But bored I thought I thinked I did think once It was enough I've had enough But that's never enough Too much is enough Too little it's late Last minute bidding Clock watching not thinking Not again but again, please For that relief Gone Not short but brief Wrong to judge For want of words Many but limit Ping when it's finished Take it away forever Forever more Nil-nil draw Let's settle this score With a whisper, not a whimper I quiver at dawn The quilt whilst warm wilts in wind Like a tearing of the skin Not yet sunk in Sulk and skulk Where's my revolt Maybe the mirror Thinner and thinner 'til it stops Drips drops and dots While I salt the fresh gash Make the wound last Tittle-tattle taints past While remnants await Must wait not act Pay it back in pence and penance Repentant until sentenced The delight of invention is mine for the taking But for the beauty of sharing I'm still waiting
5.
Militantly Average 02:07
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Grow up and standup and open your ears 'cause there's something there to hear Not a message of change but the pressure valve remains To be loosened In this system of failure Lowest common denominator shit Yeah, be militantly average Their insistence on subservience with no grace or tact How in this world could you relax With a gun at your head and bombs going to the beds of children Of the wrong Religion This sick sadistic infliction of pain But now it's time to change Fight
6.
Ballad For Psychosis 02:08
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I went awry All an issue of place and time I thought I could see the love in your eyes Now I'm the one with a shattered life It happened all the time Pick up the pieces, rewire your mind Grasp the gift-box and look inside Then paint me a picture of what you find Then tell me the value of this pictures beauty while I carve open my mind for the world see Bereft of strength I always meant to leave without a goodbye Always desperate to hide Now i'm the only one believing my lies My sickness is strength Hellbent on self My outward projection is cast iron deceit Now I embody this darkness Just a masked cunt bleeding psychosis It's hopeless that I think that I could ever change But with this effort things remain the same That's how I like it Wasting away in my pretentious cesspit Pathetic
7.
Where's The Time? 02:52
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Come back! No? Over, it's gone. The truth is it lasted to long I know i'm to slow to act on a situation A failure in communication of emotion I tasted the potion and the toxins they felt good Man, i thought you understood That together we we're just ducking the storm of an emotional weather Yeah it could of been better But no its fine, time to move on Find another girl to put all of my feelings on Ok, i'm not good at this clearly But dearly, this is how i feel truly Now they all see through me Opaquely strange or strangely opaque I won't change That's not blood in my veins Its wine Guess what i'm drinking tonight? Dripping mind, hammered These droopy words stammered out onto the page Angry, miserable, I'm filled with rage I'm in awe of what came before i had a vision of a new world war Ok, my world, but i'm selfish, vein, arrogant and wealth-less I'm listing all my best features No i'm not being facetious This adheres to my moral code rightly, Now look up with me and watch the sky bleed Don't let your dreams get splintered by a silver lining My arrogance is frightening But i doubt myself daily God or fraud maybe either or Neither nor, non category, does it have to be one of those? In the headlights i froze Nobody knows as the smoke plumes around me I've got cold feet, i'm backing down What you gonna do when i'm not around, be happy? Not likely Look up and watch the sky bleed again Yeah lets just be friends 'cause now we know it was just pretend Never gonna last a length of rope I'm hanged on your next word Is it just a curse? Now get out your purse, you're paying Still drawn to the words i'm saying? Now do me the honour of the truth Until that moment i won't move I'm stubborn, this should be nothing A one night moment and then off into the sunset But we've left it all upswept and open to interpretation Across the table, hear what i'm saying? Without once looking we can talk all night Just wait till i'm up for the fight Imaginary emotions from a conversation that never took place Now when i see your face…frozen Your logic-o-meter must be broken Or maybe it's me? manic aggressive I'll torture you for free Or fee You can pay me back that emotional debt Or you can just give me cash instead I don't wanna see your face red But i'm more embarrassed then i'd admit I thought you were the living embodiment of perfect The worst bit is that i still think i'm right
8.
Well, Whatever 02:42
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What Where Why How Hum Numb No not clear Who Where Why What When will you Stay still to think Thoughts fizzled Hiss Whistle this tune For a friend Once No Yes End Though I know not now what was What (was) once becomes again It may never need a how But needs must I must commend Blunder-bust the busts of cunts Cunts of Can't I can't pretend I'm not affected De-Invented Demented What grates so relentless is clear Sick to be near Travel Short And Shake Whatever did you take I taught to be better Nothing No letter coming soon Floated in and out of view Still blurred but un-captured I await my rapture Reap rewards Cautiously contort your neck Peer over the hedge and gasp For that breath is your last Well, whatever It never No It did But who's to care Never really there This Don't list out Keep it down Round in circles walk Paper paint and chalk Stain more pretty than this My wrist is ready For fangs Not a kiss I've been waiting for But who's their to bite a bit of skin A taste quite bright Soon we can sink in to this floor With the walls no more there Than the grail under the chair Arm of string Mind of cotton Flaccid to the bottom Rancid to the core It's gone It's gone on Far too long Far too long to notice How hopeless this is Now change It's a must
9.
Rat Waltz Home 02:03
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From falling & flailing Dancing 'til the pain went It seemed like what could have been the start But like the rush of a river A constant hither-thither until quicker It seems far in the distance 'til it's passed But if I push you far away it's just because I want you close The further that I push you the more that you must know I really care But trapped in fear and indecision I grow vacant in the moment Go paddling through the oceans all alone

about

Part 1 of The Rat Trilogy.

Some of the most raw and personal music I ever recorded.

The Rat trilogy takes recordings from 2014-15, each part has a specific context, those being the vocal recordings (Said The Rat), the ambient/improvised guitar recordings (Sat The Rat) and guitar based loner-techno (Catch The Rat).

credits

released February 17, 2023

All Music Written & Performed by C P L Clark-Spencer

Voice at end of Rat Waltz Home by Aether Valentine

Recorded in Bethnal Green & Midsomer Norton 2014-2015

Album artwork by Aether Valentine and Carl Philip Louis

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Carl Philip Louis England, UK

Folk-Punk Free Jazz mandolinist and sing/shouter of anarcho-romance poetry

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Featuring Riley Pinkerton (aka The Rat Queen) from the theatrical NYC rockers, Castle Rat.
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